


after a wander by the sun

by DreamersMyth27



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Kinda fluff, Luther and five are twins, all of them had sucky childhoods, forgive the bad writing, no editing, oops i wrote this forever ago and now I'm posting, original characters for plot, poor five has a rough time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:41:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25384729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamersMyth27/pseuds/DreamersMyth27
Summary: Five's life has never been easy. He wouldn't trust the world if it was.
Relationships: Dolores/Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy), Number Five | The Boy & Ben Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Luther Hargreeves
Comments: 5
Kudos: 148





	after a wander by the sun

**Author's Note:**

> So in honor of the new trailer take this mess I wrote last year. It's not good, edited, or finished well, but enjoy it anyway. Sorry about all that! ㅠㅠ

It's when they're ten, after a grueling training session that Five first wonders who his real mother is. He knows the story; how can he not? Forty-three women give birth - women who weren't pregnant when the day began. He's usually pretty disinterested in the going-on's of regular people. But for some reason, Five can't shake the thought from his head. He blames Four.

Four is usually the one who starts anyone's existential crisis. He's wild and brash and bright and always moving. So when he asks Five in the middle of a training session who he likes to imagine his real mother is, Five isn't quite sure how to respond. By the time he does put a response together, Four is gone.

So here Five is, alone in his room and wondering.

He knows normal people don't trade their children for money. So he knows that his mother can't have been normal. Five likes to imagine she was like Grace though. Soft and kind and smiling.

(And sometimes, when he's alone - truly alone - he imagines that she didn't want to give Five up. That maybe Reginald Hargreeves had stolen him away into the night without his biological mother's consent. Maybe she was even still looking for him.)

Those lines of thought are foolish, and while Five doesn't indulge himself in them often, it's still often enough that he finds himself wishing for her more often that he'd like to admit. But still, it doesn't matter in the end, because he's only ten and he knows he won't be able to find her any time soon.

* * *

It's when Five is thirteen that he starts wishing for her again. He's alone. It's the end of the world. Everyone he loves is dead. He just… regrets not looking for her or looking through his dad's files to find her name - he's sure it's written down somewhere.

But now the house is gone and so is everything else, along with his hopes for finding her name anywhere.

* * *

The end of the world is lonely. Five misses his siblings. He misses Vanya and Klaus. Ben and Allison. Heck, even Luther and Diego. He knows he would trade anything just to have them again.

But as time passes, that desperate need and desire to return wanes. He would still give anything to go back, but he doesn't look as hard anymore. He just can't bring himself to, not when he knows what the end result will be.

He has Delores, but she's not enough. She knows it. He does too. It's not like it's a secret. But she's all he has, so he lets her laugh at him and correct his mistakes when he's calculating how to get home.

(She's usually right, but he's not about to tell her that.)

* * *

When the Handler comes, he's just so tired. He's tired and he wants to go home. But he's also fifty-three years old and he doesn't want to be alone for the rest of his life. So he says yes to her and he leaves.

Seeing people - more people than he has in years - takes some getting used to. He has to take a week or so before he's really ready to see more than two people at a time, but once that happens he's pretty much thrown into his first mission.

Five is good at it. He's good at killing and he's good at following their orders. Every day he finds himself thinking about getting home less and less. And he doesn't even realize how scary that is until he actually figures out how to get home and jumps through that portal.

When Klaus asks: "Does anyone else see little Number Five?" it doesn't hit him, but something else does.

He looks down at himself, shorter and smaller and less scarred than he's been in a long time. His suit doesn't quite fit right and he finds himself at a loss for words. Mostly.

"Shit," he manages, but he doesn't think that really counts as a being able to talk normally.

* * *

Once the whole apocalypse thing is dealt with (okay, not really, but close enough. They just need to grow up from thirteen again) he settles back into the routine they had when he was young. It's almost scary how easily he slips back into it, being a kid again. It probably has something to do with not having had a normal childhood, but also not having been a kid since he was thirteen.

It all gets easier once everyone settles. He knows that being in their past-selves bodies is starting to degrade their memories. They're still there, of course, but faded, as if they'd happened a long, long time ago, or had been a movie he'd seen. It's the same for everyone else. Most of them keep diaries. Five doesn't, if only because he doesn't really want to remember the end of the world. Something about being kids again, the hormones and the memory loss make them about as mature as they were at thirteen, which means some of them (Vanya, Klaus, him) are the same and others are vastly different.

Luther is less… violent. Allison is a little more conceited, but she's trying not to be. Ben, well, Ben is probably the same. He's still serious and he still doesn't smile very much. Diego is also pretty similar, but enough about him is different to be noticeable in ways Five can't quantify.

So it's only natural that Five finds himself wondering about his biological mother like he had been when he was thirteen for real. This time he's not too afraid to break into his dad's office and look up his file.

He finds his mother's name, her current address, and plenty of other information, but Five forces himself not to look at any of it. He just writes down her address (only a city away) and her name. Then he hides it in his room and leaves it there for a few weeks.

Every once in a while he takes the slip of paper out and stares at it in silence, considering. It's one of these times that Klaus prances into his room, grinning widely and followed by Ben.

"Hi, brother dearest," Klaus says. He has, so far, been the most diligent in writing down every single detail of his life from before. He hasn't confided in anyone other than Ben that Five knows of, but he does suspect that Klaus does it to keep himself from making the same mistakes as before.

"Klaus," Five greets.

"What'cha looking at?"

"Nothing," Five snaps quickly. Perhaps too quickly, because a moment later Klaus uses his height and snatches it away from Five, reading it quickly, eyes sparkling.

"So, you got a new girlfriend?" he asks, waggling his eyebrows. "Did you and Delores break up."

Okay, so maybe Klaus isn't mocking him, because he sounds genuinely curious.

"A while ago," Five says carefully. "No, this is my… this is my biological mother's name."

Klaus stares at the paper again, then Five. Ben, behind Klaus, blinks.

"How'd you find her name?" he asks.

"Probably dearest dad," Klaus mocks, not Five, but their father. "Good on you."

"I could find your mothers' names if you'd like," Five offers.

"Nah," Klaus says, eyes far away. "I know hers."

This makes both Ben and Five blink in shock.

"You do?" Ben asks.

Klaus shrugs and fidgets with the skirt he's wearing. Finally, he meets Five's eyes then Ben's.

"She died, I think," he says. "In childbirth. She doesn't speak English, so I'm not sure."

It takes Five a moment to realize what Klaus means. Ben realizes it right away.

"Oh," he says eloquently. "I didn't know that."

"I never told anyone," Klaus says carefully, not looking at either of them. "It doesn't matter anyway. I doubt it would have mattered in the end. It's not like she probably wouldn't have given me to dad anyway."

"I'm sorry," Five finally says.

Klaus smiles crookedly at him.

"Thanks, Five! I know how hard it is for you to say that. Anyway, you should meet her at least once. And hey, she probably speaks English!" Klaus exclaims, jumping up from Five's bed excitedly.

Five's smart enough to know when Klaus is deflecting, but he leaves it be. At least for now. He does share a glance with Ben, who nods. So at least Five knows that will be taken care of.

* * *

It still takes him a few days to actually go to the woman's house. And when he does, he just… stands on the sidewalk looking at it. It's a cliche suburban house. There are two cars in the driveway and the grass is mowed perfectly.

Five watches as he sees her through the window, chasing after two giggling children. He wonders if she's married. Probably, since there are two cars.

It's confirmed a moment later when a man appears, holding a third child, a baby. It's strange to imagine that Five has siblings, three of them. He almost changes his mind. He doesn't want to intrude and ruin what seems to be a perfect life. He knows he'll regret it if he doesn't talk to her.

So he takes a deep breath, steels himself, and walks up the path to the front door before knocking three times.

The door swings open after a few seconds and Five is faced with the man he'd seen through the windows. He's tall, with dark hair and bright eyes. He takes a moment, looking Five up and down before smiling.

"Hello, how can I help you?" he asks.

"I was looking for a Kathlyn Ayers," he says. "Is this her house?"

"Yes," the man says. "I'll go get her for you. Why don't you come in?"

Five steps inside awkwardly. He feels out of place - in more ways than one. Here he is standing in jeans and a t-shirt, which is already completely different than what he's used to. But he's also standing in the same house his biological mother lives in.

The man leaves Five standing in the entryway alone, and a moment later one of the children he'd seen running around through the window appears in front of him.

"Who are you?" the child asks, innocent and sweet. "My name is Susan."

"I'm here to see your mother," he replies stiffly.

"Okay," she says. "Do you like my dress? It's like the one Cinderella wears!" She performs a spin to show him.

"It's very nice," he manages. "Is she your favorite princess?"

The little girl nods enthusiastically. "Uh-huh! I love Cinderella! Mommy says that I'm even prettier than her!"

"Well, she's right," Five says. "Moms always are, you know."

"Yup. And daddy agrees. He says I should just be Queen Susan instead though. She's from a book," Susan says, nodding wisely.

Five, he doesn't really like children, but he thinks that Susan isn't terrible as far as children go.

"I like books, what about you?"

"Um, yes," Five says. "I enjoy reading."

"Do you like make believe books?"

"I like science books and math books."

The girl's nose wrinkles. "Ew. Why do you like those? That's school."

Her tone tells him exactly how disgusted she is by that.

"I just do," he says. He doesn't bother trying to explain it further. He knows enough about children to know she wouldn't understand.

"Okay," she says dubiously and skips off, leaving Five alone.

Five fidgets with the hem of his t-shirt. He really wishes this was done with now, or at least going faster. Waiting is horrible. He doesn't like to wait. After 40+ years, he's had enough waiting for a lifetime.

So when the woman - his mother - appears, he's grateful and disappointed, because now he has to deal with everything.

"Hello," she says. "I'm Kathlyn Ayers. How can I help you?"

"Hi," Five says. The man, her husband, is standing directly behind her. He doesn't want to ruin anything for them, but he also doesn't want to have come all this way - more emotionally than physically - just to not do anything.

"I think." He pauses. "I think I'm your son."

Kathlyn stares at him. Her smile has disappeared and her face is surprisingly blank. Her husband is also staring at him in shock.

Five stares back, not quite definitely, but he stares back, daring either of them to say something - anything. Kathlyn is the first to break the silence with a choked sob.

"Oh god," she breathes. "Oh god. You're okay. You're - you're alive!"

Then she surges forward and wraps Five in a tight hug. He freezes. She's… she's still hugging him. Why is she hugging him? Sure, maybe she missed him or wished she hadn't given him up, but she had. He didn't think she would have missed him or wanted him this bad.

"This is-" her husband begins.

"Yes," she sobs. Kathlyn pulls away but keeps her hands on his shoulders. Her eyes are still filled with unshed tears. "You're my son."

"Yes?" Five says. "I just - I don't know. I wanted to meet you, I suppose. My name is Five."

"Five?" her husband asks.

"It's a nickname," Five lies. "What my brothers call me."

"Is- is Luther with you?" she asks. "He is, right?"

"One of my brothers is named Luther," Five confirms, mind spinning. "How did you-"

"The man said he'd take both of you. He is okay, isn't he? He promised you'd both be safe."

"Luther is okay," Five says. Oh god. He and Luther are twins. But how… how did she know Luther's names? He thought mom named them all or at least offered to name them all.

"Oh, it's okay," she says, hugging him again. This time her husband joins in. Five can't help but wonder just how much he knows. "It's okay."

Five still doesn't hug her back. He knows he should, but he just… he can't bring himself to. Even when he was thirteen the first time around he wasn't much of a toucher. That hasn't changed forty-five years and an apocalypse later.

She releases him, somehow seeming to sense that he was uncomfortable. Her eyes are still suspiciously teary. How she can keep it up for so long, Five doesn't know.

"I'm Jason," her husband says. "Your mother's husband."

"It's good to meet both of you," Five says, composing himself and sticking his hands in his pockets to hide their shaking.

"I suppose you came here for a reason?" Kathlyn says. "Did you want to sit down and have some tea?"

"Sure," he agrees, following them into their kitchen and taking a seat at the counter.

"Tell me about you and your brother," she says while putting a kettle on the stove. "Are you two close?"

"Yes," Five lies immediately. "We're very close. Two peas in a pod." He hopes they don't detect any of the sarcasm he's admittedly using, albeit vague.

"Good. That's… that's good."

The kitchen falls into silence.

"Why did you do it?" he finally asks, breaking the stifling quiet. "Give Luther and me up? Was it really that much money?"

She looks ashamed of herself, and so does her husband.

"I-I was a freshman in college," she starts. "Jason and I had been dating since we were fifteen and we just… we didn't know what to do. One moment I was doing homework and the next I was having children. We didn't have the means or the times and when the man came - you have to understand, he promised to take care of you. He promised that you and Luther would be safe, and we agreed. Then he paid off our college, even though we told him we didn't want anything."

Five nods slowly. At least they didn't want to sell him. They wanted him to have a better life. Him and… Luther. His twin brother. And isn't that a strange thought?

"We regretted it almost as soon as we said yes, but we didn't even know his name. It all happened so quickly. A day after you two were born or less. Jason and I looked for you, we really did. We filed police reports and put up flyers and hired detectives, but we couldn't find either of you."

"I suppose that makes sense. Father isn't exactly an easy person to find. You don't happen to know about the Umbrella Academy, do you?" Five asks.

"We've heard of them," Jason begins slowly. "The super-hero group in the city that recently appeared? We were planning to watch their interview today. We taped it a while ago."

"Oh," he says. He's silent for a moment. "I'll be leaving then. I didn't want to bother you. I just wanted to know why I suppose."

"You don't have to leave," Kathlyn says quickly, leaning forward, eyes wide. "You could stay with us. You and your brother. We have a room. We've always had a room saved for you two."

Five smiles, almost guiltily. "I don't think I can do that. I have other siblings, you know? And I'd miss them too much. But thanks. For the offer."

He gets up to leave only for Kathlyn to grab his arm. "Come back?" she asks. "Please? I just… we spent too long to just give up. Our door is always open to you and your siblings. We'd love to meet Luther too. We miss both of you."

Five bites back a remark about allowing Reginald to take them even in a moment of weakness showing just how much they care.

"Maybe I'll bring Luther sometime," he offers. "If you'd like."

They both nod so quickly it's amazing their heads don't fall off. He makes his escape and when he's sure no one can see him he teleports away.

Arriving back home is strange. It makes everything feel different, knowing he and Luther are related. Not in a good way, per se. But not a bad way either. And suddenly Five can see it. He can see how he and Luther share features, as few as they are. Their noses are the same and so are their hands.

He wonders why their father never told them. But he also knows why. Because then Luther would have someone. Luther is many things, some good, some bad. But the most defining thing about him is his fierce loyalty. It's usually to their dad, but if he knew he was Five's twin? That they were biological brothers? Then he wouldn't listen to dad as much, especially when it came to any of his siblings.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the mess you just read! Hopefully you liked it anyway!


End file.
